struggling between moral and desire
“Oh, that’s too bad. Then, what are you going to do?” I clutched the bill in my pocket with hesitation.
He shrugged. “I am not sure, but my mom must throw a tantrum.”
I did not answer. I knew I should return the money, but a voice inside my heart told me not to. If I kept the money, I could eat a beef steak. I had never eaten steak since last year! Even thinking of the tender taste made my mouth watering. Besides, there was a new comic book entering the market. I had been planning to buy it for a long time, but my allowance was not enough. Furthermore, James’ family was very rich, and his father was a successful businessman, so losing twenty dollars was not a big deal for them.
Struggling between morality and desire, I chose the latter.
The bus stopped in front of our school, and we got off silently. On the way to our classroom, I did not dare to look at him. His eyes were full of worry and sorrow, and I guessed he was about to cry out. Although his family possessed a lot of money, his mother was very strict to him. I felt guilty.
However, I would not change my mind.
After school, I went to bookstore to buy the comic book. When I found it and went to the counter, I saw a soccer ball placed on a shelf. I turned to take a look. It cost only seventeen dollars. Suddenly, an idea formed in my mind: maybe I could buy this ball and give it to James without telling the truth. In that way, he would appreciate my generosity, and I still had three dollars to use, even though it was little. Therefore, I put down the comic book and carried the ball to the counter.
Next day, I brought the ball to school.
In order to give James surprise, I waited until the last class ended and everybody left, except for him and me.
“Hey, James.” I said and walked toward him. My hands were holding the ball and hiding behind my back.
“What’s up?” He glanced at me, and bent his brows. “What are you hiding?”
I smiled secretly. “I have a gift for you.” I passed the ball which was wrapped by a black net to him.
He stared at me with unbelief. “Where is it from?”
“Of course, I bought it.” I was confused.
“Why do you have that much money?” He demanded, and his eyes were sharp and serious.
“What do you mean?” I exploded. “You mean I stole it?”
“Not stealing.” He corrected. “It’s dishonesty.”
“I don’t understand what you said.” I tried to hide my fear and act confidently.
He sighed and received the ball without saying a word. While I was wondering what was in his mind, the ball flied through the air and hit my face. It was so powerful that I fell over. The severe pain swallowed up me, and blood was flowing from my nostrils. All I could see was darkness.
“I have already known the truth. Lisa told me that she saw you pick up the money I left.” His voice was cold and firm. I could not feel any emotion in it.
I wanted to reply, but I was not able to make a sound.
“I was waiting for your confession, but you disappointed me.” From the footstep, I could tell that he was approaching. “We are not friends anymore, Marcus.” He whispered in a threatening way.
“No, I ……I am sorry……Please……”
Before I finished my sentence, something wet had touched my nose. The place where there was blood.
“You are so delicious.” He admired, and I heard him sucking his fingers.
Oh my god. What was he doing?
“Don’t be afraid. It will be done quickly.” He comforted me and patted my shoulder. “I love you, so I must kill you.”
I could not believe my ears. I was trying to get rid of him, but his hands strangled my neck with strength. I screamed to ask for help, but it was too late……
He shrugged. “I am not sure, but my mom must throw a tantrum.”
I did not answer. I knew I should return the money, but a voice inside my heart told me not to. If I kept the money, I could eat a beef steak. I had never eaten steak since last year! Even thinking of the tender taste made my mouth watering. Besides, there was a new comic book entering the market. I had been planning to buy it for a long time, but my allowance was not enough. Furthermore, James’ family was very rich, and his father was a successful businessman, so losing twenty dollars was not a big deal for them.
Struggling between morality and desire, I chose the latter.
The bus stopped in front of our school, and we got off silently. On the way to our classroom, I did not dare to look at him. His eyes were full of worry and sorrow, and I guessed he was about to cry out. Although his family possessed a lot of money, his mother was very strict to him. I felt guilty.
However, I would not change my mind.
After school, I went to bookstore to buy the comic book. When I found it and went to the counter, I saw a soccer ball placed on a shelf. I turned to take a look. It cost only seventeen dollars. Suddenly, an idea formed in my mind: maybe I could buy this ball and give it to James without telling the truth. In that way, he would appreciate my generosity, and I still had three dollars to use, even though it was little. Therefore, I put down the comic book and carried the ball to the counter.
Next day, I brought the ball to school.
In order to give James surprise, I waited until the last class ended and everybody left, except for him and me.
“Hey, James.” I said and walked toward him. My hands were holding the ball and hiding behind my back.
“What’s up?” He glanced at me, and bent his brows. “What are you hiding?”
I smiled secretly. “I have a gift for you.” I passed the ball which was wrapped by a black net to him.
He stared at me with unbelief. “Where is it from?”
“Of course, I bought it.” I was confused.
“Why do you have that much money?” He demanded, and his eyes were sharp and serious.
“What do you mean?” I exploded. “You mean I stole it?”
“Not stealing.” He corrected. “It’s dishonesty.”
“I don’t understand what you said.” I tried to hide my fear and act confidently.
He sighed and received the ball without saying a word. While I was wondering what was in his mind, the ball flied through the air and hit my face. It was so powerful that I fell over. The severe pain swallowed up me, and blood was flowing from my nostrils. All I could see was darkness.
“I have already known the truth. Lisa told me that she saw you pick up the money I left.” His voice was cold and firm. I could not feel any emotion in it.
I wanted to reply, but I was not able to make a sound.
“I was waiting for your confession, but you disappointed me.” From the footstep, I could tell that he was approaching. “We are not friends anymore, Marcus.” He whispered in a threatening way.
“No, I ……I am sorry……Please……”
Before I finished my sentence, something wet had touched my nose. The place where there was blood.
“You are so delicious.” He admired, and I heard him sucking his fingers.
Oh my god. What was he doing?
“Don’t be afraid. It will be done quickly.” He comforted me and patted my shoulder. “I love you, so I must kill you.”
I could not believe my ears. I was trying to get rid of him, but his hands strangled my neck with strength. I screamed to ask for help, but it was too late……
